Marathon Day, Part II. (Grandmas in Zara and shouting at Ed Balls)

What an incredible day. Last Sunday saw thousands of people take to the streets of London and slog round (some much quicker than others) the 26.2 mile course. The weather was maybe a little too hot for the runners but for the spectators like me the sunshine was very welcome after the longest Winter in 60 years!

The day began at Grandma's house, the centre of every family occasion. In our family's true style we made sure that the whole street new that something was going on by hanging a banner out of one of the windows.

Next it was up to the start where we dropped Susan off and went to get our position near the blue start. I was on celeb watch and, yet again, failed to get a hug off Sue Barker who I think should be our next Prime Minister. 

After waiting for what seemed like hours, and being interviewed by BBC London as my Mother and I were shouting the loudest and waving the world's biggest (and heaviest) banner, Susan ran past. Mum got a high-5, the whole of the start could hear us screaming at her. Amazing.

I want to add at this point that we have a knack of befriending people when we are out, probably because we just like talking so much. The marathon was no different and this time it was a lovely woman called Cindy. She ran the marathon last year and was also a Gamesmaker. She was a really lovely woman but is it time to hang up the Gamesmaker uniform, I think she probably wears it every day? Anyway, she had this massive horn that she honked at anyone who ran past. So naturally, we got on famously.

After we'd seen Susan run past us at the start we took on our own little marathon, running (and pausing for breath) down the hill to Greenwich town centre. That quarter of a mile certainly took it out of me. 

Greenwich is always one of the best places to watch the marathon, everyone gets involved. This block of flats, just along from the naval college certainly got involved. At this point it was about 10.45 in the morning and the first runners were at mile 6. That didn't stop everyone on that balcony holding glasses of wine though, in fact, I think if they had offered me a glass I wouldn't have turned it down. Again, that quarter of a mile downhill run really took it out of me. 

At this point we joined the rest of our family who were stood on the opposite side of the road. Sara had made about 7 different banners and this was the first, getting everyone rather emotional, until a really old man ran past in a mankini and put everyone off their sandwiches. Susan ran past us again, waving frantically, and looking like she hadn't just run 6 miles. Ed Balls also ran past us at this point to shouts of 'BALLLLLSYYYYY' from me and 'WHERE'S MY MONEY' from my Aunt, Sara. Britain, we did it for you. Consequently Susan asked when she finished why she could sometimes hear booing just up ahead of her. We informed her that she had run the entire marathon just behind Ed Balls. 

 Next stop was Canary Wharf, this is where the real party was. Another Sara banner was unfurled, the sound of drums ricocheted off everything in sight and Grandma set up her picnic chair in the middle of the Canary Wharf shopping centre, wandered in to Zara and nearly fell off a step. Despite all this we managed to see Susan again and she looked even better than she had at mile 6. At this point there were questions as to whether she had got the DLR there. 

Our final stop was opposite Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament, fitting as this is where my Grandad and Susan's Dad worked. Again we were probably the loudest supporters there, arriving just in time to see Susan run past. This time we certainly didn't think she had got the Tube or a cab. Her head was down and we could see that she was just focusing on getting to the end. 

At this point a man asked Sara why she had a number on her banner. He was promptly told that all our family members have a number and not names and that he should 'see 14171, she's a right go-er'. Silly man. 

After meeting Susan at the finish and making her put on her red foil to 'look like she had actually run the thing', thousands of photos were taken but I think this is my favourite. Grandma looks like she is about to punch this man for getting in the way of the photograph. 

So there we have it, a brilliant day for the whole family, a very proud marathon running Aunt and another impersonating the Queen Mother. The O'Leary-Clifford-Biancofiore family everyone! 

Why the London Olympics were the Best Ever.

I have just found a video that shows why the London Olympics were so good. It isn't the Opening Ceremony, or the closing one. It isn't a great sporting moment or a javelin snapping or something like that. It is Bananarama performing at the beach volleyball. Bananarama singing Venus, on Horse Guard's Parade. You wouldn't have got that a Beijing.

Rorie's Big Fat Review Of The Year (In tweets)

Right, when I say year I actually mean 'The Olympics'. I started scrolling back through my tweets and realised that there were so many in the months of July and August that I might just stick to those two months. I think the following tweets show that I provided the service of 'Someone tweeting about sport who knows nothing about sport'. Here goes.

Opening Ceremony. 

My first tweet of the 30th Olympiad set up the standard for those to follow. 

"Just shouted "COOOOWS" at the TV. #OpeningCeremony#London2012"

I can't even remember cows in the Opening Ceremony but apparently at the time they were a big deal? did they parachute out of something, I really can't remember. The only other tweet I made during the Opening Ceremony worth mentioning was this: 

"Anyone else playing 'Olympic outfit borrowed from Easyjet' bingo?"

I think I was so busy playing Olympic outfit bingo that I forgot to tweet. Something that certainly didn't happen over the next two weeks. 

DAY 1

"If there was a gold medal for drinking wine during the opening ceremony, it would go to me. #London2012 #OwMyHead"

I quickly realised on the first day of competition that I was not going to be able to comment on the actual sport much and quickly coined the hashtag "Fashionlympics". 

"The USA's swimming team jackets make them look like penguins.#London2012 #BBC2012"

I must admit, I do think Alan Carr was choosing the music: 

"Now they are playing Madonna. Campest Olympics EVER#London2012"

DAY 3 (Day 2 was obviously boring)

To start day 3 was a tweet from 'Prince Charles' 

"Camilla's gone to Greenwich Park to watch #Equestrian. Have stuck 'Number 5' on her back for a laugh."

I also found the diving most enjoyable and, wanting to do my bit for the economy, got some free advertising in for the tireless work the eyebrow threaders do in Lakeside, keeping the South East free of uni-brows. 

"The Mexican divers need to get down Lakeside and get their eyebrows threaded. #Fashionlympics"

DAY 4

Day 4 began with another update on the incredible music being played. 

"She Bangs by Ricky Martin #nowplaying at #London2012 Archery.#Campolympics"

My feelings towards Ian Thorpe were also made clear on day 4:

"If Ian Thorpe says 'look' one more time though, I might bop him round the head with my goggles and armbands. #London2012 #Olympics"

Also on day 4, a limerick from Jessica Hynes: 

"There was an old man named Mitt, who said our Olympics were s***. He wanted attention for his upcoming election but ended up looking a twit."


DAY 5

This was the infamous day that will be etched in our minds forever, yes, the day that Boris Johnson, BoJo himself got stuck on a zip wire.

"Swing low, sweet Boris, whiff whaff is coming home!"

I think that is enough said about day 5.

DAY 6

By this stage full Olympic hysteria had taken me over.

"Giant pringle. BBC One. Now."

I think I was referring to the Velodrome. Not entirely sure though.

"Christina Aquierlararrara blasting out over the velodrome. Carrying on the #Campolympics. #TeamGB #London2012"

DAY 7

A stroke of genius from their headline writers.

"Headline of the morning goes to 'The I' "Anything you canoe I canoe better" #TeamGB #Gold #London2012"

"It gives me great pleasure when the #BBC camera hits the angle that gives Gary Lineker Olympic Stadium floodlight devil horns.#London2012"

"If #Phelps melted down all his medals he could bail out Greece.#London2012 #Euro"

"This Olympics is seriously lacking some Tessa Sanderson punditry."

"I've got Bert Le Closemania"

DAY 8 SUPER SATURDAY

"First sailing results in: Great Britain take gold, Australia take silver and Somalia take a middle aged couple from Weymouth.#London2012"

"If only we'd kept my old trampoline. I could have been on the red button now. #GardenTrampoliningChampion#SomersaultAndTripleHeadFlip"

"Just organised my 'entrance' for my birthday party. I can safely say it's going to knock that parachuting bitch's one out of the water."

"*Whispers* Could we really get 3 gold medals tonight? Really?#London2012 #TeamGB"

"He must have an onboard MOtor.#London2012 #PunLympics"

"I like to think that Greece is paying off all its debts in Vangelis royalties."

DAY 9

"Can't wait for the Rio Olympics now. Must get my carnival costume ready. *Ram-raids sequin shop*"

"I'm loving the leggings on arms look Sanya Richards-Ross is rocking. Totes bang on trend. #Fashionlympics #London2012"

"SOMEONE HAS A FACE-JAZZLE IN THE WOMEN'S 400M!!!!!!!#LONDON2012 #FASHIONLYMPICS #GYPSYCHIC"

"If there's a glass of white on a bar I can do the 100 metres in 9.64.#London2012 #Olympics"

"FACEJAZZLE WOMAN GETS A BRONZE JUST FOR HAVING A FACEJAZZLE!!!!! #London2012"

DAY 10

"IT'S GONE TO A JUMP OFF FOR GOLD IN GREENWICH. This is all a little bit X Factor deadlock. #London2012 #olympics"

"The thing that holds the chalk for the pole-vaulters looks like Dizzy from Bob The Builder. #London2012 #Olympics"

"I threw a wish in a well. *Waves ribbon* don't ask me I'll never tell *triple somersault* #London2012 #ClosingCeremony"

DAY 11

Still no actual sport content in my tweets:

"Look how glam Denise Lewis is now. LOOK AT THAT BEAD NECKLACE. #Fashionlympics"

"It's a 10 from Alesha, 8 from Bruno, seveeeeeeeeen from Len and a 4 from Craig (booo) #StrictlyComeDressage #Dressage#London2012"

"I really dislike this arrangement of the national anthem. They don't leave the bit where everyone drunkenly yells "Der ner NER NER"

"We'll give the Aussies that one. They only have 3 golds, bless them. Stick it in a jiffy bag and send it off #CashMyGold #London2012"

"I'm cheering on Muriel Ahoure in this because she's got a brilliant surname. #London2012 Muriel Aprostitute."

Doing my bit for international relations:

"Jesus, I thought Darth Vader was going to storm in at the start of Grenada's national anthem!! #London2012"

DAY 12

"Do you have to have a double barreled name to be a female sprinter and/or wear arm leggings? #London2012"

"horses dancing to music is my new favourite"

"#DressageSongs Hoofs upside your head."

"#DressageSongs "I set shire to the hay" by Adele."

"already excited about Sochi 2014."

"Today: The greatest show on earth is on BBC1. Mum's watching 'Flog It' on BBC2. #London2012"

DAY 13

"Do you think they'll get the Sugababes to perform at the closing ceremony? The old 3 and new 3 could do a Hackney urban sing off#London2012"

"If I don't get 3 hours of Spice Girls tomorrow I will be bitterly dissapointed. #ClosingCeremony."

"I really want to be a speedwalker. It's always been my dream.#London2012"

"This bit of the "Modern Pentathlon" is just laser quest. The IOC isn't kidding anyone. #London2012"

DAY 14

At the #Olympic marathon. Very disappointed that the runners haven't got in to the spirit of things. Not a lion costume or mankini in sight.

Closing Ceremony 

"Can you see my sequinned baps everyone? I'm on top of the umbrella mountain. @cassie_draycott #London2012"

"VICTORIA BECKHAM CAN STILL MOVE HER FACE!!!"

"Did Grandma put LSD in my tea? #London2012"

"Every time Emili Sande sings a song, Heather Small looks in a mirror to check that she still exists"

"Grandma just shouted "Ku Klux Clan" at the TV. I think she was referring to the Pet Shop Boy's outfits and not One Direction#London2012"

So there we go, London 2012 in a collection of my tweets. Unbelievably I did manage to live tweet the entire Olympics and not mention sport at all really so WELL DONE TO ME! I wish you all the best for 2013. I'm hoping for round 2, London 2012 version 20.13? 

We Found Love In Trafalgar Square

Hello all.

This week we saw the end of an incredible summer for Great Britain. Me and a few friends decided that we wanted to see the summer out in style so we went to Trafalgar Square to watch the Paralympic closing ceremony on a big screen. The atmosphere was absolutely incredible with Boris Johnson, our soon to be Prime Minister I am sure, getting the loudest cheer. Everyone was singing and dancing along as if they were in the stadium and we could even see the fireworks from the river. It really was an amazing evening.

I was very pleased to see Rihanna and Coldplay perform I song I absolutely love and have sung myself, We Found Love. My friend Nicolas and I perform a bit together and We Found Love is one of our set-pieces. Below is a video of Nicolas and I, with his brother Kit performing We Found Love at my last ever school concert. Watch out for my amazing cymbal bashing!

The September Issue-Design

Fresh from winning GQ's 'Cultural Icon' award at this year's Men Of The Year awards and being the man responsible for the stunning 2012 Olympic cauldron Thomas Heatherwick really is the designer of the moment. Boris Johnson has publicly shown his love for Heatherwick commissioning him to design the new Routemaster bus for London which by anyone's standards is a daunting task, taking an already loved and established piece of design and bringing it in to the 21st century. Heatherwick, however, has succeeded. Whether he is designing the new routemaster or the beautiful and yet truly simplistic curling bridge in Paddington his work and his draw is universal. Mayors love him, the public love his work as shown during the 2012 games and the adoration for his seed cauldron.

The new routemaster is evidence of Heatherwick putting people first. Many designers create beautiful and elegant works with no function or with limited use as the designer hasn't thought or doesn't care about it's use for humans. 

The routemaster has sweeping windows that wrap around the bus flooding the inside with light and improving the black spot of the old routemaster, those dingy stairs. Heatherwick has even used heritage fabrics which, although are covering and replacing the old bucket seats, hark back to the original and well loved London bus. 

Heatherwick's crowning glory, however, has to be the stunning Olympic cauldron, comprising of petals that merged when lit, it was a triumph of British design. Olympic fans have praised the design for breaking the unwritten IOC rule that bigger is better when Olympic cauldrons are concerned and instead going for beauty and subtlety when designing the cauldron that became the icon of the games. Some even attribute Heatherwick to the success of the games, stating that without his design the public wouldn't have taken to the 2012 brand at all after a string of design nightmares. But who can even remember the negative press when the 2012 logo was unveiled? After commissioning Heatherwick the London 2012 organising committee turned the games around and brought back important elements to the games that run through Heatherwick's work. Unity and humanity.  

The V&A are currently running an exhibition 'Heatherwick Studio: Designing The Extraordinary' where you can see his design processes and a scale model of the 2012 Olympic cauldron. The Exhibition runs until the 30th of September and tickets are available from the V&A website. 

The Real Olympic Legacy

Haven't the past few weeks been incredible? From the moment the the lights came up on London's opening ceremony to reveal a field of farmyard animals I knew our games were going to be great.
After 7 years of insisting to my friends and family, despite hundreds of news articles claiming the complete opposite, I can finally feel justified in saying: I WAS RIGHT. London's games WERE the greatest ever.
The worries were to be expected, however. Brits are hardwired to be pessimistic about events like these and we have good reason. Remember how late Wembley was and that magnificent white elephant the "Millenium Dome"? All the components for an incredible games came together just at the right time. Team GB exceded our wildest medal hopes, all security worries vanished and even the Great British weather was okay for 16 amazing days. We didn't manage to get tickets and being a proud Londoner family we were slightly miffed, but no. That didn't stop us. We went down to London to soak up some of the much publicised games atmosphere and I really can say it wasn't hype. Anyone who actually uses the Tube will know that it is usually a silent affair. Not this time. My vacant 'Tube face' wasn't needed in the Summer of 2012, people were actually talking to each other. As much as I love the 'Inspire A Generation' sentiment this for me is what I would like the capital to gain as a legacy from now onwards. I have always said that London is the greatest city on earth and that the only thing missing was a chat on the Tube. I think we may have found that.

Jumpers And Crowns For S/S 2012

Right, if it hadn't been decided that charity shopping is the new designer I am deciding it now! Today after school I popped into the local Cancer Research shop with Mum because we were at a bit of a loose end and I have ended up with the most incredible jumper. EVER. Who needs Bond Street when you can have Sleaford High Street?! Anyway attached is a picture of me with said jumper and my crown. The Jubilee is only two weeks away! In Jubilee news the first few strands of an alleged 'sea' of bunting went up in my town, Sleaford today. The town newspaper reported a few weeks ago that Sleaford would be 'awash with bunting' for the Jubilee weekend and for when the Olympic Torch comes through the town on the 27th of June, 1 month before the games begin! Exciting times. Here is the promised picture: 

Stay regal!

A Royal Address, From Prince Rorie.

If you read this blog (and I live in hope that there is at least one person out there does, even if it is in pity) then I am very sorry. This post is essentially an advance apology. As of today it is only 39 days until the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. 39 days that are going to be full of everything you would ever want to know about the royals and bits that you probably didn't. Yesterday I kicked off my Jubilee countdown on my hospital radio show with my friend Lucy. It was 2 hours of Royal fun where I got to gush about Wills and Kate to an essentially, and I hesitate to write this 'captive audience'. And you, dear reader, are the latest victims of my gushing. I cannot get enough of the Royals. I found myself, yesterday heading to Tesco to buy my first ever copy of 'Hello' magazine as it was a 'William And Kate: One Year On' special edition. I think 'obsessed' would be playing down the feeling in my house. I also cannot lie to you, the £2 I spent on that magazine was the greatest £2 I have ever spent. I have probably spent more time pondering over how Kate manages to still look hot in a ski-suit and if William's bald patch got any bigger we could harness enough solar power to solve global warming than I should have. Especially when A-Levels are looming. But I don't care. The phrase 'Once in a lifetime' gets banded around a lot, especially with the Olympics coming to London this year but in this case it is true. Most of us will probably never see another Diamond Jubilee. So amongst this next 39 days of tacky mugs, magazines, union jacks, crowns, tiaras and Queens bear in mind (if you are getting sick of it) that Queen Elizabeth II is only the second ever British Monarch to reach an incredible 60 years on the throne and if that isn't enough to guide you through the maze of red, white and blue, it is only 41 days until it is all over....

Olympic Opening Ceremony Idea No.32

Right, scrap Danny Boyle. Scrap the urban soundtrack influenced by the East-End of London. Do you know what? Even scrap the Queen, and coming from me they are serious words. After watching Britain's Got Talent on Saturday night our worries about beating the Chinese opening ceremony of four years ago simply melted away. Who needs 8000 perfectly synchronised drummers when you can have Mr Zip, or as he is known in our house and I am willing to bet in thousands of other homes up and down the country, the 'Where Ma Keys?' man. So to cut to the actual idea. 'Where ma keys?' man runs into the stadium in the first minute of the ceremony and lights a giant mobile phone shaped Olympic cauldron. Brilliant, this has already been the Olympic opening ceremony to end all ceremonies. But that isn't all, oh no. To put the cherry on top of the Olympic sized cake or possibly even the key on top of the mobile phone, cue 1000 dancers dressed as...yes, you guessed it keys and phones. Then Rick Astley emerges from the floor of the Olympic Stadium, gyrating on a giant revolving record as a mash-up of 'Never gonna give you up/ (you guessed it) where ma keys'. This continues for the final 3 hours of the ceremony. So there we have it. A winning formula. We get to Rick-Roll 2 billion people whilst showing them that Britain, really does have talent. (Before they turn over to The Voice).