'My Best Friend Loves Herself, She's Just Being Miley'

Yet another Miley Cyrus post for you to read. At least this one has a message. 

I have read a lot about Miley Cyrus this week. My favourite article coming from, (unbelievably), the Daily Mail. They had had the genius idea of interviewing the inventor of the foam finger. I didn't even realise that one single person had 'invented' the thing I used to hit my brother with when I got back from 'Steps' concerts but, anyway, I am proven wrong on many occasions so I will just add this one to the list. As I have just stated, for me, the foam finger has never and will never be used for it's correct purpose. I always hit my little brother, or anyone who was in my vicinity, with mine. Someone I was with at Notting Hill Carnival last weekend bought one and then poked me in the face with it all evening. I therefore find it hilarious that the inventor, (still not over that thought), of the foam finger was so offended. Here is what Steve Chmelar had to say about Miley's turn at the VMAs:

'She took an honorable icon that is seen in sporting venues everywhere and degraded it. 

'Fortunately, the foam finger has been around long enough that it will survive this incident.' 

Well I, for one am pleased to hear that Steve is confident in the foam finger's enduring appeal but I think he should embrace it. Think how much money he could make by making some specifically 'sexy' foam fingers. You know, ones with rings and things on like the woman who had rings on her fingers and bells on her toes. I wonder, actually, if Steve Chmelar, (great surname), actually made any money from the foam finger? Did he patent it? Is this actually sour grapes from Steve that he isn't making any money from Miley's kinky finger? Listen up Steve, (here comes the message), start selling some foam fingers to sex shops. If the 'Twerking' craze is anything to go by, Miley's a trendsetter.  

Why Celebrity Meltdowns Are The New Greek Tragedy.

I love a good celebrity meltdown. From Katona to Lindsay, Sheen to Gibson I have watched them all with a strange kind of sympathy whilst lapping up every single Daily Mail Online 'article' about them with glee. There is something very cathartic about it. One of my favourites came courtesy of Mariah Carey just before her autobiographical film 'Glitter' was released in 2001. Mariah turned up at an MTV party unannounced, started giving a strip-tease to the fans outside and handed out ice lollies. Amazing. 

You can imagine my reaction this week then when little Justin Bieber had one of the meltdowns to end all meltdowns on our very own shores. I still find it hard to accept that I am the same age as Bieber. I still see him as a 14 year old singing 'Baby' in a bowling alley but this week Bieber has finally come of age in my eyes. It is the same old sorry story that for a child star to grow up they need to have a crash in their late teens. Bieber's has been spectacular. Arriving 2 and half hours late to a concert where the majority of his fans are under 16 was amazing. Bieber is so rock and roll, shame his audience don't have a clue what that is. I think the Biebs is struggling to come to terms with the fact that his main audience is getting younger before his eyes when all he wants to do is get shirtless and smash a guitar. Bless. 


Then there was the birthday, his friends were turned away from a club where Bieber was meant to be celebrating turning the ripe old age of 19. Unfortunately because they weren't on the guest list they weren't coming in (just like that Carolina Herrera perfume ad, you know the one). Obviously Bieber wasn't very happy about this and thought the best thing to do would be to get half naked, storm back to his hotel and then tweet angry things. Good work Justin. 
Finally we have the paparazzi incident. Apparently a pap told him to 'go back to America' when he was getting into a car, naturally Bieber in his meltdown state wanted to 'hit you dude', thankfully his bodyguards defused the situation by creating this hilarious image that will forever look like Bieber is being put into his car seat (maybe that's his thing?) 

I know it is bad to get this much joy out of a celebrity meltdown but this is my Soap Opera whilst I don't have a TV at University. When I can watch Justin Bieber go crazy why would I watch Kat deal with Alfie and Roxy's relationship. (I lied, there will always be a place in my heart for Eastenders). 
I justify my love for a meltdown by equating it with Greek Tragedy (bear with me). In the same way that people would watch Oedipus kill his father, marry his mother and gauge his own eyes out for a sense of catharsis I view these meltdowns as pointers that my own life isn't actually that bad.
It is true that I also just like googling the crazy pictures so to finish I will leave you with a picture of my favourite crazy celebrity Li-Lo. I just want her to be my best friend. 

School's Out....FOREVER

Today I came to a shuddering realisation. Two weeks today is my final day of school EVER. Yes that has been capitalised. In fact it feels like the majority of things I write these days end up being capitalised, I am very slowly turning into the Daily Mail Online, but that is a discussion for another day. After 14 long years of wishing to leave I am finally at the point of no return. I am going to London in 5 months to start University and that is seriously SCARY. (There we go, Mail online again). In two weeks I will probably be a little worse for wear after a day spent traipsing around the pubs of Sleaford and rather messy after causing all sorts of mayhem during the day. I have realised, however, that this could be the last time that I will ever see some of my friends who I have had since turning up on the first day at Carre's 7 years ago. I will stay in contact with some but others I will, unfortunately, lose touch with. I don't want to dwell on this however. This summer is one of new beginnings. Tonight I applied for my accommodation next year, student finance is very nearly finished and the summer is shaping up to be one to remember. I am going to T4 On The Beach, Disneyland, Paris, Ireland. In two weeks I will be in London for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee (not that I have gone on about it) and in a few months will be cheering on Team GB at the London Olympics. I really want to try and enjoy my last two weeks at school and look forward to moving to a place I love and making hundreds of new friends. Two people also moving on are my two good friends Lucy and Hannah. Lucy is moving to London, like me and Hannah is being a little more adventurous and moving to Toulouse! They have both set up blogs to share their journey into the wide world. Lucy's is http://lucysadventuresinlondonland.blogspot.co.uk/ and Hannah's blog is http://talesfromtoulouse.blogspot.co.uk/. Anyway it is time for me to go and Wednesday night is usually a night spent dancing around to Bananarama and drinking milk but before I do, here is a picture of me, a Beefeater and a raven taken earlier today. (Thanks Keirl).