Halloween With Miley And Lilo (I Want Candy)

It's the 31st of October 2013, East Dulwich, South London. Every house is decked in their finest 'house of horrors collection' decorations from Oliver Bonas. The sweets have been purchased from Hope and Greenwood, THE place to take your little dahhhlings for their E number fix. There is a knock on my door, our first trick or treaters in our new house. The scene that greets me is post-apocalyptic, VMAs 2013 style. It's as if Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus have turned up on my door step. Last year Mrs Tabitha-Drew's children went as a ghost and a zombie. This year Bruschetta and Olive have turned up looking for their 'candy' (thanks Disney channel), dressed as the new horrors of the generation. Lilo and Miley. 

It is, of course, only the 12th of October. Halloween is still two weeks away, but preparations in this South London, Yummy Mummy, Mecca have begun in earnest. There are pumpkin carving competitions in every shop that sells cushions that cost £50. Dress your dog as a celebrity for a free pint evenings and cobwebs in every window that are normally kept pristine. This year, however, there will definitely be something different. Earlier this week I read a statistic that the foam finger is this year's best-selling costume item. Are we really entering into a new age where we dress up as the real horrors of the year? What happened to going as a vampire or even a 'sexy kitten'? Is it because we have decided that Miley is a cultural icon or are people just 'doing it for the lols'. One thing is certain, she's certainly made an impact, in fact I can't believe I am still talking and writing about it. Maybe I actually love her and don't realise it? Maybe the real question is where can I order a foam finger and can I get it special delivery? 

'My Best Friend Loves Herself, She's Just Being Miley'

Yet another Miley Cyrus post for you to read. At least this one has a message. 

I have read a lot about Miley Cyrus this week. My favourite article coming from, (unbelievably), the Daily Mail. They had had the genius idea of interviewing the inventor of the foam finger. I didn't even realise that one single person had 'invented' the thing I used to hit my brother with when I got back from 'Steps' concerts but, anyway, I am proven wrong on many occasions so I will just add this one to the list. As I have just stated, for me, the foam finger has never and will never be used for it's correct purpose. I always hit my little brother, or anyone who was in my vicinity, with mine. Someone I was with at Notting Hill Carnival last weekend bought one and then poked me in the face with it all evening. I therefore find it hilarious that the inventor, (still not over that thought), of the foam finger was so offended. Here is what Steve Chmelar had to say about Miley's turn at the VMAs:

'She took an honorable icon that is seen in sporting venues everywhere and degraded it. 

'Fortunately, the foam finger has been around long enough that it will survive this incident.' 

Well I, for one am pleased to hear that Steve is confident in the foam finger's enduring appeal but I think he should embrace it. Think how much money he could make by making some specifically 'sexy' foam fingers. You know, ones with rings and things on like the woman who had rings on her fingers and bells on her toes. I wonder, actually, if Steve Chmelar, (great surname), actually made any money from the foam finger? Did he patent it? Is this actually sour grapes from Steve that he isn't making any money from Miley's kinky finger? Listen up Steve, (here comes the message), start selling some foam fingers to sex shops. If the 'Twerking' craze is anything to go by, Miley's a trendsetter.