The First X Factor Post! Hello Christmas!

Now, I appreciate that as soon as you read the sentence you are (hopefully) about to read you may just stop reading altogether but bear with it. Watch last Saturday's X Factor. There I said it. Television snobs turn your noses up at me all you like but the latest episode of my staple Autumn/Winter programme was a classic. I love X Factor and am not ashamed to say it. I may not buy into the 'reality' of it all and can sense some truth in the fixing rumours surrounding the show but I know one thing for sure: the programme is hilarious. I was actually out last Saturday night with a friend but managed to catch one of the 50 repeats ITV manages to splatter gun their weekly schedule with when we got in. My friend, Lucy, hates X Factor but being the amazing friend she is agreed to sit down with me, cups of tea and lemon curd sandwiches to feast on the brashness of X Factor. Within 5 minutes she was laughing along with me as contestant after contestant got their 'dreams shattered' by the judges. The best part of the whole show, however, didn't come until halfway through when the one and only Mel B appeared as the first guest judge of the series. Every word that woman uttered was pure gold. For the rest of the episode normal order was forgotten. The television was ignored until Scary Spice spoke, her words flowing over Lucy and I and turning us in to 'Melanators'. For hours after I only spoke like Mel B. We imagined that she only spoke in the third person. "Melanie B never says yes, people only say yes to Melanie B" we shouted in our best Leeds accents. Her honesty on X Factor and unwillingness to say yes to mediocre acts just because they had 'something about them' showed what X Factor has been lacking for the past couple of years. We need Mel B to bring back the glory days of Sharon, Cheryl, Louis and nasty Simon. I want the days back when a national scandal would be made out of Sharon throwing water over Simon! So X Factor's school report thus far reads: 'Must try harder' 

'Take Me Out' Let the cheese, see the viewers.

'Let the cheese, see the viewers'

I should hate it, it should make me want to gauge out my eyes using a spoon but weirdly I find it absolutely inspiring.  I didn't watch the first series of 'Take Me Out'. In fact I didn't just not watch, I refused to. I'll admit my culture snobbery was going through a particularly rough phase and if something wasn't in Norwegian without subtitles or made on a budget of less than 5 quid and a packet of chewing gum I didn't watch it. Thank God that was only a phase as otherwise my life would never have been opened up to the brash Saturday night, feel good show that is 'Take Me Out'. Who wouldn't want to watch, frankly rather desperate, girls and guys throw themselves at each other and judge on first impressions? Whoever came up with the idea is a genius. Our whole lives are built around first impressions, why not make that into a game show? As for the host Paddy McGuiness I believe he is an equally brilliant choice with his catchphrases even prompting my mother to shout over the strains of 'No likey, no lighty' one particularly raucous Saturday evening, that he was the 'New Brucie'. For me that sealed the deal. My Mother, usually a BBC news and Corrie in small doses woman likes this show, in fact she doesn't just like it she LOVES it. 'Take Me Out, The Gossip' even gets her viewing figures a testament to the pure cheese of it all. I do, however, feel that its critics or the 'I only watch it because it is cheesy' viewers love it in secret. In truth we all want to feel happy, laugh and be cosy on a Saturday night and no programme recaptures classic Saturday night TV at the moment quite like 'Take Me Out'.