Why Kim Wilde Should Rule The World

I think I will never tire of watching that video of Kim Wilde completely drunk, rolling around a train with a guitarist and singing her hits to a bemused and probably equally drunk Christmas party train home. It was upon watching this again that I realised. This is who should be singing our song this year at Eurovision. In fact she shouldn't just represent us there, she should be an ambassador for Britain across the world. What says 'Best Of British' more than Kim Wilde, slurring her way through her songs, in a pair of reindeer antlers and jumping around in a train carriage? That has Eurovision written all over it. It has G20 Summit written all over it, it has Olympic Opening Ceremony written all over
it (albeit a year late).
So here is my proposal: let's all club together, buy Kim Wilde and get her to sing at everything. It's a simple idea but I believe it would make the world a better place.
You know it's a good idea. Donate 50p to the Kim Wilde for British Ambassador Fund and you can make the world a better place. (We may need more money to get her drunk before every performance).

Thank you for your time.

Club Tropicana And Cat Night

Living in London has been absolutely incredible. The only downside is not watching X Factor live and being able to tweet along. I miss tweeting about what shade of blue Louis Walsh's hair is that week or about whether Tulisa looks more like a chav or a duck. Anyway, since being here I have met Samantha Cameron in a shoe shop, fallen off my chair when I thought I saw Myleene Klass in a cowboy-themed Turkish shop, (it wasn't her) and got my Caribbean funk on in a place we have lovingly christened 'Club Tropicana'. Left is a picture of our new friend Jerome who we met there. He is a beautiful human being.

Next is cat night. The most amazing invention ever. People draw cat faces on their faces and dance all night to Beyonce, 90s rap and Whitney Houston. MY KIND OF NIGHT.
Thanks to my new friend Lauren, the majority of the university think I am called Roy after an encounter with a magician in Soho, I have got my own back by introducing her as Karen. Such fun.

The actual lectures are very interesting, but lets be honest, I spend more time thinking about when I am next going to get to draw a cat face on my face.

My Mum and little brother came to see me this weekend before driving me home and we spent Saturday watching the Harrods Christmas Parade, cycling in Hyde Park and shopping in Selfridges. So now I am back home in Sleaford, although I keep referring to London as 'home' much to my Mum's annoyance. I am a little unsettled at how quiet it is. Usually on one night living in East London I can expect to hear 50 Tubes, 400 buses, 30 sirens and 2 noises that I am pretty sure are people getting stabbed and I find that reassuring.

Stay East London royal fam.