I am just going to say it. Kris Jenner is the greatest woman on earth, (bar my Mother of course who, incidentally, reminds me a lot of Kris Jenner's good bits.) To be frank, why wouldn't you want to be Kris Jenner? She lives in a huge house that is completely black and white so it is great if you have dogs as they only see in monochrome. She drinks wine all day, in fact I am considering getting one of my arms chopped off and having a wine glass put there a la an even camper Captain Hook, in her honour. She has about 5 billion daughters that make her about 50 billion pounds a day so she can spend lots of money on huge cars that look like converted tanks painted black and massive weddings for her favourite children (and Rob....)
Kris provides the best moments in Keeping Up With The Kardashians. It seems like she is the butt of every single joke, even down to the time that her lips swelled up in BORA BORA! (you have to shout the place-name like you are a Kardashian on the show), and we all laughed because it looked like she had got dodgy botox done in the room over the off-licence I used to live opposite in South London.
Kris Jenner is basically the Kardashian sister that never was. She lives her life through her three famous daughters, craving attention, constantly holding a massive wine glass full of white wine, driving around in that huge black car and wearing earrings that Pat Butcher would be envious of. But who cares? She is fucking Kris Jenner she can do what she likes.
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