If you haven't been in to a branch of Marks and Spencer in the past few weeks then I envy you. It is the annual pilgrimage that you have to make as a schoolchild and then, for me this year, as the brother of a schoolchild. It seems that Mother's, (probably quite rightly), insist on taking you there to kit you out for the new school year as their 'shirts wash better and trousers iron easier'. This was the first time I visited M&S in late August and wasn't being shoved in to itchy white shirts or horrible black trousers. It gave me a refreshing look at this end of summer pastime. Marks and Spencer in late August and early September is a humbling experience for teenage boys. Away from the safety of home they have to obey their Mothers whilst trying hard to impress the girl who is looking at the blue blouses on the next rail. They are then frogmarched to the changing rooms where various garments are tried on and paraded around in, in front of a sofa full of mothers who are probably debating how long it will be before they have to sew up a hole in them. For a 15 year old boy a pretty annoying experience. I overheard one boy say to his mother 'I can't wait to be a student so I can wear what I want.' My advice to him is: Your schooldays are the best days of your life, your parents pay for your clothes.
In other news, my visit to Marks and Spencer revealed to me that the nation's sweetheart, Percy Pig, is turning 21. Ridiculously overpriced but still the saviour of long journeys and work days, Percy is finally becoming a proper adult. Whilst waiting in the queue to pay for my bottle of Pink Grapefruit lemonade and bag of pigs I wondered about how Percy would spend his birthday? Would he go crazy and get completely off his face on MDMA? He is, after all, a national celebrity. As the M&S website states dear old P is 'A hit with the fashion world, musicians and sports stars'. So maybe good old Perc likes to live the rock and roll lifestyle and will eventually become Britain's answer to Lindsay Lohan? They do also, however, point out that Percy contains 'no artificial colours or flavourings', so maybe he checked himself in to a Vegan spa for a few days and drank pig feed, skinny smoothies? Whilst browsing the M&S website I scrolled through the whole Percy Pig section. (Yes, there is a whole 'Happy Birthday Percy', bit'). You can now buy almost anything with Percy's face on. Bags, tins, money boxes and even hampers. Poor Percy, plaster his face on stuff to sell before eating it, and I bet he gets no royalties from Marks and Sparks.
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